#and I've been getting good results from it

[fangdokja]

ANNOUNCEMENTS (especially for horror + psychological readers)

Good news, everyone. 😊 I'm officially not mind blocked anymore with horror + erotic horror + psychological + thriller content.

Yeyy. I'm officially back to writing my stories for the actual yandere long-form content. Still extremely BUSY, but at least I'm not mind blocked anymore. I will still be incorporating dark humor content like my recent posts in other future stories. But just informing you all about the good news, since I know a number of you are waiting for actual horror content.

I have an upcoming explicit erotic horror story for Yandere! Author in "Whispers In The Dark" this Valentines Day entitled:

🔞"You like happy endings? Too bad. I don’t write those."

But I'm currently writing for long-form horror novellas. Not sure, but hopefully I'll be able to post a new chapter next week. Surprise though on what it is, because I always write and jump from one story to another.

Also we're approaching 2k followers, and I haven't posted my 1k special wahh. Sorry. Actually, I saw the results.

Actually, if you look here, you'll notice that I've always had the Yandere! Reverse Harem in "A Heart Devoured" ever since way before a lot of novellas:

It's been in my drafts the longest, because there's a lot of things to edit. I wrote a lot, literally Parts 1-4 serving as the intro arc. And I know it's good. But I've been debating for the past time if I should just restart everything due to how many edits that need to be done. I've also improved a lot from before. So... yeah. I decided, I'll restart instead and make it even more horrifying :)) Sorry it's taking a while. Thought I could finish it, but I know I could do better so yeah.

Me to my writing: Get that shiz out of here. *horrified author noises*

This is just a preview of how my writing looks before most edits and formatting. Yes. I write like one would write paragraphs and run-on sentences. It's what I do in research as well. Anyways, I know I could do better, so I'm going to restart from scratch. Also those descriptions are horrifying in a "seriously use your thesaurus, dude. did you seriously use the term 'biggest'." *slaps self*

Anyways, I'm also shocked with how many people are reading my stories. And if you read everything, how...? I appreciate it, but man so committed. haha. Thank you though to all you, Readers. Also low-key don't know if I'm doing well. I'm literally just here to write and improve my skills lol.

For those who wanted the incest harem, I've actually been writing this upcoming story in "Forbidden Fruits". I'm about 40% done with the first part of the novella to set up the lore of the story:

♡ Characters Included. Yandere! Grandfather, Father, Older Brother, Twin Brother

Thank you everyone for being so patient with me. I really appreciate how committed and understanding you all are huuuu. Really.

Also, I guess everyday is a surprise to most of you all considering my schedule is basically making me write and post whatever the fudge I want. Regardless, I'm happy to welcome all you new Readers, and to all my veteran Readers, thank you for all the patience thus far.

And to everyone? Thank you. I'm honestly happy with just writing and sharing. The fact you're all kind enough to do more, well I have no words to express my gratitude to you all. Whether you're a lurker or love to comment, please continue to enjoy and relax in this LIBRARY.

Also, I made a new masterlist to give you all recommendations based on what type of yandere you like, or what kind of plot you want.

[jesncin]

Some inspiration for this comic and Hellblazer homework:

Noah repeats the "any hand will do." line from the Hellblazer Fear Machine arc. I thought it would be so fitting if Noah didn't even realize he was emulating his dad's kindness too. After all, Noah holding someone's hand to comfort them did happen in canon.

Astra Logue, the girl John damned to Hell when messing with demons he shouldn't have, ended up losing her arm in the Newcastle Incident. In the Critical Mass arc, John manages to free her and several other children's souls from Hell. Some versions of Johnstantine don't include this arc so that John's guilt over Astra is a constant in his life.

Either way, we purposefully left it ambiguous whether John and Astra are in Heaven, Hell, or something in between. What matters was allegorizing that forgiveness. We also didn't want Astra's arm to be "cured"- instead fully committing to her being an amputee. It didn't feel right to imply that she's an amputee in Hell but she gets her arm back in Heaven- especially when we're responding to the ableist ending of Dead In America. The disabled children John wronged forgiving him because "they're cured now" felt thematically hollow and ableist.

So!! I wanted this send off to feel as Mike Flanagan-core as possible. Which meant we needed a MONOLOGUE

John's speech is inspired by the poem "Good Bones" by Maggie Smith. I took the "realtor" angle and reframed it to fit John's silver tongue conman character. So it morphed to being about protecting kids from how cruel we know the world to be.

Speaking of over-protecting-! Yeah that's right, we are pulling an Uno reverse on that canon "curing Noah" ending. While I get that it wasn't directly John who "cured" Noah (it was Clarice), I tried to keep some essence of it by reframing it as John being so protective of Noah that he thinks he can change who his son is for the "better". But then John recognizes how ableist he's being to who Noah is.

In canon, from Hellblazer 2019 to Dead in America, Noah's disability is treated as an inconvenience to overcome. Noah's disability is the unintended result of John's magical shenanigans, so curing it is part of John's redemption. Instead we have it so that John's growth ends with leaving Noah the way he is. I even made a nod to the "Making things easier? Simpler? Why not?" line from canon but reframed it as a flaw on John's part.

For those not in the know, Noah's situation is that he lost his voice as a very young boy when his mom was attacked by a demonic entity. His mom has been in a coma ever since, and Noah steadfastly visits her "at least twice a week". Noah lived most of his life having to both hope but grieve his only parent for so long. This made it feel all the more fitting that he should be the one to send off John at the end. He's used to sitting by his mom, ready to say goodbye any day now.

Like John, Noah's placement in our story is ambiguous too. Afterwards Noah's left to his own devices, he wants to make it back home, and he's still a very vulnerable kid at the end of the day. Not everything is wrapped up neatly, and I don't think it should be. John's prepared him as best as he can, intentionally or not. It's all a part of letting go and being worried for their safety regardless.

[spoilers for Midnight Mass]

To bring the Flanagan vibes together, we pulled from Riley's death scene in Midnight Mass. Riley is so John-coded that I swear there's a hidden perfect John Constantine movie somewhere inside this series. Riley spends the whole series haunted by the young woman he accidentally killed in a drunken car accident. But when he meets his end, the young woman is there to welcome him sweetly. It's SO INTENSE haha. I've had a Johnstantine death scene saved in my pocket ever since, so I refitted it for Dead in America. We made Noah and Astra parallels of each other.

Despite being called "Dead in America" to hype up the death of its hero, John's send off never landed for me. I get that cape comic characters never truly stay dead, (especially when they make tons of money for the company) but I was hoping for an ending that at least felt emotionally final and convincing. Something that brought everything about John Constantine full circle. In canon, it's a bunch of events that accumulate into a larger event where John just happens to get the short end of the stick and rot away. He's sent off into the ocean by Swamp Thing, his new friend that he barely got to know (Nat), and his son he barely connected with (Noah) are just there.

This is me trying to visually express "Forgiveness is warm. Like a tear on a cheek" from Nell's speech in Flanagan's Haunting of Hill House. I didn't want it to have words. I Uno-reversed Flanagan's obsession with monologues you see.

Dead In America acts self aware about how anti-climatic and unsatisfying it is, but that doesn't magically make it good- y'know what I mean? I wanted an ending that actually said something about parenthood, being buried by your children, worrying if you prepared them enough to survive, worrying that they've emulated the worst parts of you, or that you've become the worst parts of your own parents. Something that called back to John's origin story as a guy who messed up and screwed over the life of an innocent kid. Dealing with having his own kid should be this ending piece to that tragedy. So here's what it looks like if Dead in America bothered.

A Father's Farewell: The End Of The Road.

Our take on Hellblazer: Dead In America's ending, focusing in on John's relationship with Noah, legacy, and parenthood.

[tozettastone]

Okay, the results of my Bleach OC character poll specified: Hollow, needs a little treat, bad eyesight, causes catastrophic plot derailment.

Here's a very rambling draft (about twice as long as it needs to be lbr) of how that might begin. I've named her Espina Espinosa, but her name doesn't come up at all in this which I guess is part of how you know it's a first cut draft lol.

---

Sometimes, you just need a little treat to get you through the day. Or, in my case, the night: in hueco mundo, it was all night, all the time.

You know, I thought when I dropped out of my university classes in a wash of shame and humiliation that my life was basically suffering. It was as if, having forsaken my higher education, I was then destined to be trapped in my one room in a sharehouse and stacking shelves all night for my pittance forever.

Spoiler: it was not forever! It was barely six months! And then I got hit by a train, crossed over to the other side — which was apparently a fucking anime, by the way, more on THAT later — and lost years and years to scrabbling around in the desert like an animal. I didn't remember who I was until I emerged from the Forest of Menos as an adjuchas, trembling like a newborn foal and panicked about my weird undead body.

And then I really knew what it really meant to say 'my life is suffering.'

Suffering is being a fully grown human personality stuck inside an undead lizard, living in a lightness hellscape and eating other undead animals just to survive.

I got more humanoid over time. Once I finally hit vasto lorde, the hunger was way less demanding and the risk of regressing and losing my personality was eliminated. Vasto lordes did not regress. They just died.

...If something could kill one.

Today's reasons as to why I deserved a little treat were as follows:

- My vasto lorde body was clearly designed by Kubo Tite. I was a nightmare of spiky armour and claws, with no real face, but god forbid I get around without built-in high heels and smooth, round, pendulous boobs. My adjuchas form had been a spined lizard. I was not even a mammal. Why did I need boobs? What were they for? Why were they the size of my head? Just the demands of the story in which I found myself, I was pretty sure.

- I had minimal access to goods or services of any kind, because Hueco Mundo, right? And it was hard to stay long in the human world to get anything because just showing up tended to freak the shinigami out. Like, vasto lorde-class menos were nigh mythological, we were so rare, and even if I suppressed my presence so people on the ground couldn't sense me organically, shinigami researchers had instruments for this. Ugh.

- I was constantly hunted by other hollows, especially powerful adjuchas on the look out for advancement. Eating a vasto lorde basically guaranteed they'd get the power they needed to become one. Today, one of them had left a nasty bite on my spiky tail and I'd eaten him, as he deserved. But it hurt, and I cried about it, because... I was still a giant baby who cried when I got hurt.

- Bored, bored, oh my god, bored. So bored.

- I'd broken my glasses, AGAIN, because I had no goddamn ears to keep them on, and my mask was a... challenging surface.

Most hollows somehow didn't seem to get bored in hueco mundo. They roamed the sands, ate each other, fought a lot, made occasional uneasy alliances, and napped.

But I had a very good memory of my last life, back when I was not an unrealistically buxom masked lizard woman, and all this shit was just a daydream from a manga.

I got so bored. I wanted something to do other than running away, lying down, or smacking weaker hollows.

So every... period of time? ... well, once I presumed the shinigami had stopped worrying about it, anyway, I took a little jaunt to the human world and treated myself. And, like, what was a little shoplifting if you were already dead, am I right?

I had a sweet tooth, and I liked jewellery and books. Hueco mundo was boring and lightless, but if you could curl up in a cave with a heavy duty flashlight, a pile of candy and a novel, you could just about pretend you were somewhere else for a while.

But visiting the human world and getting stuff was a pretty full-on operation. I had to pick places where there was enough ambient reiatsu to hide what leaked through my suppression, and there were not many of them. Then, it was often better to visit in the middle of the night, because if I tried to shoplift while surrounded by people — look, a vasto lorde has a lot of reiatsu and human beings are, on average, fragile. It was better to browse a dark shop after hours. And the last thing was: there was no optometrist in hueco mundo, because it was just kind of full of cannibal demons who wanted to eat me. I just had to stop by a chemist that stocked glasses and guess my prescription based on vibes. It sucked. A lot. And then when I inevitably broke them again, I stopped being able to read my little stash of novels and got quite sad.

So on that night, with my busted glasses and six Vampire Hunter D novels waiting in my cave, I decided I deserved a little treat and I did something kiiiiiind of stupid.

Despite knowing that it was exactly where the plot of Bleach was hiding.... I went to Karakura in Tokyo.

It wasn't as stupid as it sounded, you know. Sure, I knew they monitored for every garganta, yes. But I also knew that there was so much reiatsu in Karakura. If I crushed mine down enough, I was absolutely certain I could hide beneath the suffocating blanket that was Kurosaki Ichigo.

I opened my garganta for maybe half a second and slipped through with my reiryoku squished into a tiny ball inside my belly, so scrunched up it left my claws tingling with cold. From the sky, I pinpointed two pretty obvious locations: the Urahara Shoten and the hospital. Then, because I wasn't goddamn suicidal, I picked the furthest point away from both of them that still fell within the range of Kurosaki's spiritual pressure and made that my landing point.

There was a big labyrinthine train station, a bunch of warehouses huddling miserably behind it, and a series of cramped stores all piled in on each other lining the nearby streets, poised to catch commuters as they went by. A few of the bigger ones were still lit up from the inside, bright lights glowing out. But it was very late indeed, and almost everything was closed. The local 7-eleven was apparently open from 7 AM to midnight, a rarity even on the outskirts of this twenty-four hour city.

I couldn't find a good chemist, but there was one of those travellers' shops next to the station that stocked an array of low-prescription glasses, which would do in a pinch. I looked both ways — as though there were any cars on the streets at three o'clock in the morning, and as though any could damage me if they were — and scuttled up to the darkened window.

After a quick inspection to confirm the existence of glasses inside, I tapped my claws on the reinforced glass. It cracked, one long jagged line through the glass. I tapped again, and it shattered into a multitude of glittery pieces.

I hopped inside, heedless of the glass. My skin was next-level tough, even among hollows of my class.

Very likely the cameras wouldn't catch me at all, but what they would see is floating glasses, which wasn't necessarily much better for the humans' peace of mind. Ideally, I'd get this done and nobody would be any the wiser about any mysterious activities relating to a break in. I paced the shop, squinting around for cameras.

There was an alarm system in place. It was armed, so it started wailing about thirty seconds after the glass broke, flooding the dark street with noise. A few lights went on above stores, but mostly it remained dark — this wasn't a residential district.

There were two, blinking green lights from either end of the store, so I jumped up and ripped them both out of the ceiling, sending a rain of plaster dust down upon me to get caught in my spikes. Who knew what the owners would make of that, but probably they wouldn't automatically think it was a hungry ghost.

Glasses were stored neatly on a circular stand, ordered by strength — which, of course, I couldn't read, because I needed glasses. I plucked pairs at random and crammed my mask's eye holes up against five of them in quick succession. The fifth let me read the prescription information, so I decided that was good enough to be going on with.

My mask did not come off, obviously — trying to get out off hurt like all hell, and I didn't know if I needed to be an arrancar badly enough to go through with that — and it was covered in angular, stylised spikes, and I had wide useless little horns but no fucking ears. So my new glasses were sitting kind of lopsided, but as usual when I got a pair, I was excited about how much I could see with them.

The humming of a drinks fridge attracted me, briefly, on my way out, the way a fire attracts a moth. Did I want a soft drink? I did like the ramune ones with the little marble... And I could read the labels, which was a huge novelty.

I'd spotted a 7-eleven on the way, though, and I wanted to see if they had a slurpee machine. They were pretty rare in Japan, generally, but if they didn't have one I'd still be able to get a different sugary drink there.

I hesitated for a second, thinking about the wisdom of this plan. I should get out of here, probably, but... If I'm honest with you, my spirit rebelled. Did I truly not deserve a slurpee? A single fucking slurpee?

So, anyway, I broke into the 7-eleven. No, I didn't need to. Fight me. (But, er... don't, actually. I am a delicate flower.)

I stepped outside the store and — okay, listen, in my defence, the shop's alarm was really loud and I was busy clutching my slurpee in my clawed hands and marvelling at my semi-okay vision through the only-slightly-lopsided glasses I'd swiped. I did not immediately hear him, and I wasn't actually looking for shinigami using persquisa because I'd carefully marked where the Urahara Shoten and the Hospital were, and I had avoided them so carefully.

So, from my perspective, there was no reason to worry about shinigami, until I came out of the 7-eleven squinting at the text on the side of my slurpee cup, and then almost walked straight into one.

And not, like, a little one, either. It was a lot like being surprised by the sudden introduction of a spider — like, you know, if it's a little house spider, you might twitch, but if you turn around and see a twelve inch birdeating spider on the wall, you might actually just shit yourself.

Anyway, I slunk out of the seven eleven store, ignoring the alarm, completely absorbed in my slurpee, and then almost walked face first into Hirako Shinji.

He was actually perfectly recognisable from canon. He was about an inch shorter than me, skinny, and wearing a long grey coat, presumably because it was the middle of the night and cold enough to freeze your nipples off. (Still warmer than hueco mundo.) His blond hair really did fall in a perfectly smooth pageboy down past his chin, like it was all one meticulously styled piece. It probably wasn't. It was like my lizard tits: demands of the setting. Loads of people had hair that looked styled and required no styling.

Just in case you're wondering, on the Unexpected Spider Encounter Scale, Hirako was probably, like, one of those Colombian giant tarantulas.

I froze.

He stared at me.

A vasto lorde was scary shit in her own environment, so I was probably worth a stare. However! (A huge, flashing neon 'however'!)

A veteran shinigami captain was scarier.

Especially since I was a pretty weak vasto lorde, all things considered, and Hirako was... well, if I remembered right, he was not necessarily one of the weaker shinigami captains.

I was used to fighting adjuchas who were aggressive, hungry and bestial, and I mostly got around them by being like... marginally smarter than they were. I distracted them or trapped them.

I did not highly rate my ability to trap or distract Hirako. For one, he was an actual military officer.

For the first time I realised exactly how unfair Aizen must have been to his little arrancar army. Hollows were killers, but we weren't soldiers. Our only training was in appetence and its satisfactions.

I stared, frozen, at Hirako and blinked rapidly.

In hindsight, I would eventually come to understand what this looked like from his perspective: he came to investigate the unsteady flickering of hollow reiatsu and the alarm, but discovered a surprise vasto lorde — already so vanishingly rare as to be basically mythological — wearing lopsided reading glasses and clutching a slurpee like her life depended on it, outside the broken window of a 7-eleven at three in the morning.

"...I saw that, Hollow-san," he said slowly, looking at the broken window. His eyes drifted from the window to me and back.

I squeaked. My claws dug straight through the cardboard slurpee cup. "Um," I said, slowly. "Do you... perhaps... also want a slurpee?"

With both slurpee-clutching hands, I gestured towards the store and the source of the screaming siren.

Hirako tapped his zanpakuto on his shoulder, squinting at me like I was something new and strange and he had not quite settled on his opinion of me yet. I did not like that.

"Think I'll pass," he drawled. His Kansai Japanese was actually pretty new to me; there was no need for me to ever go to the Kansai region. What was even there? Osaka? Was there a Soul Society version of Osaka? "You came to the living world for a slurpee?"

I inched sideways so maybe my back could not be to the building and I could get a clear path of retreat by which to mcfucking book it down the street.

"As you see," I hedged, holding the cup out like it would protect me from him. It would absolutely not protect me. His zanpakuto would go through it, and probably also me, like fucking pudding. "Slurpee."

His facial expression was doing something super complicated. "That... might be the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

"Well, it feels dumb now," I muttered.

The alarm seemed so so loud. I would have wrinkled my nose but, unfortunately, my face was covered in bone. Hollow problems.

"Look, Shinigami-san, isn't it a global chain? They'll have insurance for break-ins." Probably. "I'm just here to get my glasses and my slurpee."

"Insurance," he repeated. The sword went tap-tap-tap. I could see the tendon flexing in his wrist where the cuff of his shirt did not quite cover it. "Uh-huh. Sure. They got insurance. They're teaching you about insurance in vasto lorde school now?"

Vasto lorde school was just regular school, was the rub there: hollows were all just human souls, after all. Fucked up human souls, but just human souls. I didn't say it.

"You're giving everyone in a twenty kilometre radius nightmares," he pointed out, mouth tugging down.

In my defence, I simply couldn't prevent that, just like I couldn't prevent the yowling cats. Besides, what was one bad night's sleep? Nothing, honestly. Come on. Don't be such a coward!

"Sorry?" I offered. Obviously, I was not sorry, but his expression made it seem lke I should at least lie about it.

He opened his mouth to speak and gestured — with his sword. Seeing the zanpakuto swish in the air made me jump. My new glasses, absolutely predictably, flew right off my mask and hit the pavement with a heart-rending crack.

"No!" I gasped, and nearly dropped my slurpee on top of them. I crouched down to grasp at them but the lenses were, of course, already fucked. I couldn't see it very clearly, but I could sure feel the jagged cracks with my fingertips.

"No, no, no," I chanted. "Nooo."

In a flash, the horrible future unfolded before me: long periods of endless night, alone, unable to even pass the time with a book, stuck in a cave. It would be ages before I could creep into another human city with another garganta. My reiatsu suppression just wasn't good enough to hide from the technological sensors the shinigami used, and a vasto lorde in the human world put them on highest possible alert.

Karakura was probably the only exception, because Ichigo, but now there would be other shinigami here expecting me. If I tried to come back here, surely I'd be getting a face full of another vaizard, or maybe Urahara.

It all seemed so overwhelming. I really just wanted to have a slurpee and read my book. Didn't I deserve that much?

I made one of the more pathetic noises it's possible for a hollow to make, a sad little multitonal keen.

Whatever Hirako had been saying (to which I had naturally stopped listening, due to the tragedy that had befallen me) stopped abruptly.

"Are you crying?" His voice was unflatteringly incredulous.

I probably was, though. I patted my mask. It was kinda damp, yeah.

"No," I lied, with a highly telling warble in my voice.

[yes-no-maybe-soo]

Now that the 3 day Banner Boycott has reached — or for some of us is fast approaching — its conclusion I want to thank each and every single person who stuck through with it. Especially OG3 girlies, many of whom joined us Sylus and Caleb girlies out of solidarity. I know that I don't speak just for myself when I tell you how appreciated all of you are and how invaluable your support has been. It's been an honor to have you with us 🫶🏻💯 I won't hold it against any of you who chose to spend on the banner starting today (the 13th, after the daily reset). I won't and can't in good conscience ask more from you OG3 girlies than what you've already given. I wish any of you who will start pulling great success in the wish pool! May you all win on soft pity ❤️

For anyone worried how/if spending will affect LADS placement in the CN game rankings, it won't. Most of the people partaking in the 3 day Banner Boycott are global girlies. The CN girlies are still marching ahead with the Justice Boycott, just as they have been for a long time. I don't see any of them opening their wallets in the forseeable future. They are committed to not spending at all until Sylus and Caleb get justice from the company. So in short, LADS is extremely unlikely to climb in the CN rankings. They will most likely retain their top spots in the Blacklist chart for a while though, which, I mean... well deserved 😏

As for Sylus and Caleb girlies, my advice to you all is to stay onboard the boycott— ie the Justice Boycott. This is an indefinite one, and it entails not spending real money. At all. Not until our husbandos get what they are owed by Paperfold. While a 3 day boycott is a feat and sends a message of what we are capable of as consumers, it is in the grand scheme of things unlikely to, by itself, make Paperfold fold in the way we want. So we have a bigger chance of success if we take a page out of the CN kittens' — and increasingly also Caleb stans (what are y'all called by the way?) — book and keep our wallets closed and our voices loud. That is not to say that the 3 day Banner Boycott has been inefficient or in vain. Definitely not. Like I said, it sent a message and it proved what we on the global side are capable of organizing. Thousands of people joined, and that is impressive for such an impulsively organized boycott. And judging by how the main LADS sub on Reddit has reacted to the 3 day boycott — that is by censoring it and deleting pretty much every single post and comment relating to it within hours 🫠 — I would def say that company officials take it seriously enough (it is an open secret more or less that the main sub is monitored by Paperfold, and that the mods are in close contact with them in some way).

Me personally, I have been onboard the Justice Boycott for over a month. I have no plans of abandoning it, and will as such not spend money on the game. Nor will I speak about or post/reblog content relating to the current memories or the event until the banner is over. This last rule is one I've set for myself — I'm unsure how the CN boycotters approach posting memories and pulls. The no spending money rule is 1000% one they uphold though. So if you are a Sylus or a Caleb girly and want to stay/join the fight for their content, then I urge you to only use free wishes and diamonds in the game. No fair treatment for our husbands, no money from us.

As for OG3 girlies, again, I won't ask you to join us in this indefinite boycott, since neither I nor anyone else can guarantee what results it'll ultimately yield. I don't want to ask you to sacrifice for no ensured reward. But I will say though that if you feel the effects of Paperfold's greed or are sufficiently worried about the future, it won't hurt to join us 😘. Now is the best time after all to try to prevent the execs from pushing their greed further than they already have — to try to nip the spread in the bud, so to speak. But again, I won't blame you if you decide to spend now. I am forever grateful to you for sticking with the boycott these past 3 days, and you can always count on me to have your backs as well, for what it's worth 🩷

[spark-hearts2]

It's been a month since chapter 3 was released, where's chapter 4?

(this is about this fanfic btw)

The good news is that I've written 10k words. The bad news is that I've only gotten a little more than half of the chapter done. That doesn't mean I don't have things written for the bottom half, it's just that it looks like bare dialog with general vibe notes. I estimate around 16k words total though, so it should come together sooner than later.

SO I want to release some fun snippets for y'all to look at. Please note that any of this is liable to change. Also, you can harass me in my inbox for updates. I love answering your questions and laughing at your misery.

Spoilers under cut.

_______

Ragatha stood up and walked over to where Caine was seated. “Can I get a list of all commands?” She asked, only a hint of nervousness in her voice.

“Certainly!” Caine says as he blasts into the air. He digs around in his tailcoat and pulls out an office style manilla folder. It visually contains a few papers, but with how thin it is there must only be a few pages inside.

Ragatha takes the folder from Caine and opens it.

“Oh boy” she says after a second of looking it over.

“I wanna see” Jax exclaimed as he hops over the row of seats.

“Hold on” Ragatha holds the folder defensively “Let’s move to the stage so everyone can take a look”

Jax hopped over the seats again while Ragatha calmly walked around. Caine watched the two curiously.

Well, Zooble wasn’t just going to sit there. They joined the other two by the edge of the stage, quickly followed by the rest of the group.

Ragatha placed the folder on the stage with a thwap. Zooble looked over to see that the pages had gone from razor thin to a massive stack when the folder was opened. On one hand, it had to contain more information than that video, but on the other…

They get close enough to read what’s on the first page.

The execution of commands via the system’s designated input terminal, C.A.I.N.E., will be referred to as the "console” in this document. The console is designed to accept any input and will generate an appropriate response, however only certain prompts will be accepted as valid instructions. The goal of this document is to list all acceptable instructions in a format that will result in the expected output. Please note that automatic moderation has been put in place in order to prevent exploitation of both the system and fellow players. If you believe that your command has been unfairly rejected, please contact support. 

By engaging in the activities described in this document, you, the undersigned, acknowledge, agree, and consent to the applicability of this agreement, notwithstanding any contradictory stipulations, assumptions, or implications which may arise from any interaction with the console. You, the constituent, agree not to participate in any form of cyber attack; including but not limited to, direct prompt injection, indirect prompt injection, SQL injection, Jailbreaking…

Ok, that was too many words.

_______

“Take this document for example. You don't need to know where it is being stored or what file type it is in order to read it."

"It may look like a bunch of free floating papers, but technically speaking, this is just a text file applied to a 3D shape." Kinger looked towards Caine. "Correct?” he asked

Caine nodded. “And a fabric simulation!”

Kinger picked up a paper and bent it. “Oh, now that is nice”

_________

"WE CAN AFFORD MORE THAN 6 TRIANGLES KINGER"

_________

"I'm too neurotypical for this" - Jax

_________

"What about the internet?" Pomni asked "Do you think that it's possible to reach it?"

Kinger: "I'm sorry, but that's seems to be impossible. I can't be 100% sure without physically looking at the guts of this place, but it doesn't look like this server has the hardware needed for wireless connections. Wired connections should be possible, but someone on the outside would need to do that... And that's just the hardware, let alone the software necessary for that kind of communication"

Pomni: "I'm sorry, but doesn't server mean internet? Like, an internet server?"

Kinger: "Yes, websites are ran off servers, but servers don't equal internet."

(This portion goes out to everyone who thought that the internet could be an actual solution. Sorry folks, but computers don't equal internet. It takes more effort to make a device that can connect to things than to make one that can't)

[love-toxin]

I know, I know, I knoooowwww its been months since you wrote for yandere/babytrapper Charles Xavier but I can't get him off my mind. Pleaseeeeeee, Miss Ellie, tell me what he would be like after he's successfully babytrapped you/how he would act as a father

meoooww I've been looking for a reason to write about charles again hehe <33

I can imagine he'd be tough to shake off, even after you're free of the pregnancy. Charles is smart enough to know you need to be taken care of in a multitude of ways to ensure the baby's health, but he's almost too smart because he regulates everything from the food you eat to the times you go to sleep. He's neurotic; he doesn't want his efforts to go to waste, he doesn't want you to get hurt, and he especially doesn't want his little one succumbing to anything terrible before he has a chance to meet them.

As a result of his powers, which he may allow to flourish more often once you're pregnant, he also dives into research about when babies develop their brains and when conscious thought may come into play, because he wants to see if he can hear his child's voice before they even come out of the womb. Those thoughts of fear or even anger towards him for pressuring you into it don't go unnoticed, however--he has to address those, but his way of doing it isn't exactly...healthy. He mostly spends the pregnancy slowly gaslighting you into believing you wanted it all along. Charles will plant seeds of doubt in your head wherever he can, even to the point of claiming that he couldn't stop hearing you think about having babies with him, and that he took that drastic step because he just thought you were too shy to say it out loud. That you couldn't bear to ask him because you just didn't know how much he wanted it as well. If he has to create thoughts that you think are yours to help convince you, he'll even go that far.

Whether you fall for it or not, the baby's coming either way. When she arrives, a head full of your hair and Charles' baby blues staring up at you, it's hard not to fall in love with your sweet little daughter. Charlie is absolutely mesmerized when he holds her for the first time, his trembling almost too much for him to keep her steady in his arms at first. It's obvious with one look that she's going to be daddy's little princess, and that he's going to spoil her like no little girl has ever been spoiled before.

If he hasn't wrestled you into a marriage by then, the baby is a great way for him to squeeze himself into your life for good. "Our girl needs both her parents, we have to try for her" he feeds you whatever he can think of to get you to say yes, and when you do, the only thing he relents on is whether to have a big wedding or a small one. If it were wholly up to him, he'd throw a massive party and invite everyone he knows to bear witness to your union, but if you want something small or to just sign the papers he'll take what he can get. At the very least, he'll get a nice cake.

But afterwards? When you fall into the routine of parenthood and navigate the turmoil of caring for a newborn baby? Charlie may get less pushy, but he's just as sickeningly intimate as he's always been. He feeds your daughter and changes her without complaint, and takes care of any chores or parts of the routine that you need done without being asked. It's tough not to feel something for him if you haven't before when he looks after the two of you so lovingly, and acts every part of the doting father and caring husband flawlessly. No amount of sleepless nights, colic, or failed soothing could dissuade him from still treating you as gently as a butterfly. No amount of frustration or sleep deprivation could make him take out his anger on you, not when you're the mother of his beautiful child.

That's not taking into account his jealousy, however, because that still runs rampant. Hank is close enough that he trusts him, but seeing Logan or Erik or anyone else around will slowly turn him mad. No, they can't pick up the baby, and no, you don't need any help or offers to babysit--that's what you have a husband for. There's always a threat looming of Charles trying to impregnate you again after a run-in with any male colleagues or friends, he just gets so possessive and moody and it's disgusting how good he is when he's in that state. Add to the fact that you probably have some reservations around intimacy now that your body has gone through so many changes, and it'll be a shock if after those six weeks passes he hasn't accidentally knocked you up again within the year. In fact, he might just try to; after all, keeping you busy with a couple of kids isn't a bad strategy to keep the men away from you, and he's got plenty of rooms to fill in the mansion for every member of his growing family. He's shown you he can be a good father to your child--give him the chance, and he'll prove he can be the perfect family man with the right motivation.

[elkian]

Got LOTR on tape to listen to on my commute, partly because of current events, and good LORD Mr. Jirt never in his life was in the vicinity of fucking around.

Like, the description of the Ring and what it does to people maps so closely to real world problems, right now. The greed and selfishness of those who covet it, the fact that it will always destroy them in service to itself...

What really got me was Gandalf's comment about how those who use it "would not die. They would not grow or gain life," and like, it really puts me in mind of billionaire power grabs and pathetic attempts at appearing important, taking over projects doomed to fail due to their interference, and so much more. Especially that latter part: they don't grow, and they don't gain life. Bilbo left because he was feeling stretched - faded, scraped thin. This is seated in metaphor, but it's easy to see similarities with rich fucks like EM or JKR who've become parodies of themselves, self-perpetuating caricatures who can never produce anything new, only steal and plagiarize and self-refer.

(A friend of mine has told me about the Silmarrillion, and I think it came up in the Hobbit - it's very interesting to me that in this setting, evil and the inability to create anything new are explicitly intertwined so often. Evil is plagiarism, theft, machine generation, uncredited parody, etc.)

It's also fascinating to me how the Ring seizes people: the fact that Bilbo was able to give it up at all is, textually, a genuinely heroic act. Gandalf refuses offers of it and begs the Bagginses to not do that again, because even he is not immune to temptation and he knows his own power does not need to be amplified. He's wise enough to see the ruin that would unfold.

And then the bit with Saruman? "Only one hand can wear it at a time," good god.

This is Jirt saying that evil means cannot produce good results. That some acts, some tools, are so steeped in blood and cruelty and ruin, that you cannot "use it for good", because using it is evil. There's a lot of literature on objects being inherently morally neutral, and I definitely think this is a subject that requires engaging one's brain, but it kind of a rare narrative in my experience. (Completely unrelated side note, the older I get, the more I question my US Education's conclusion that dropping nuclear bombs on civilian targets (including testing sites with Indigenous populations, which my history class incidentally blipped over, somehow,) was "necessary". That's completely unrelated to the matter at hand. Anyways.)

And when this narrative does come up, I tend to see it from NRA types - people with a very particular flavor of agenda. It's important to remember that Tolkein had an agenda, too, even unconsciously - it's impossible to create something untouched by one's experiences and personal bias - but, at least for me, this is a pretty unfamiliar narrative and kind of exciting for it.

Anyways, the bit with Saruman fucking stings because that is happening irl right now in this very country, people we previously thought to be fairly intelligent, perceptive, and on our side deciding they want to "join the winning team". The dismissal of Radagast's importance by him after Gandalf went "hey wait you have the potential to help right now, in small but vital ways", puts me in mind of how current political figures are dismissive of "hippy dippy environmentalist tree-huggers" (hippies, who famously resisted a military draft and protested the Vietnam war,). Radagast doesn't need to come in swinging a sword to be important - and I like that Gandalf recognizes that he is important. I've been talking about it but I've been reading James Bradley's book "Deep Water", which goes into a lot of a directions about how the ocean is innately connected to basically everything. It's a fascinating, engaging read that really helped me conceptualize a lot about nature and my connection to it.

Environmentalists, biologists, scientists - these people are important, their work is important. I'm reminded of people critizing that headline about marine biologists putting shrimp on a treadmill, and, like, the results of that study may never affect me personally but that doesn't make it pointless. I went searching and the study is about water quality and how that affects crustaceans' health. The water in the ocean will eventually become water in the clouds which will become rain which will become groundwater which, eventually, I am going to drink. If there's a high level of, say, mercury in the ocean and it starts affecting shrimps' health (or microplastics, or whatever else), studies like this are important. It also affects predators (a lot of things accumulate in the body higher up the food chain, and eating carnivores or ominvores will increase the chance of that affecting you), which affect other marine life, and so on and so forth.

And those studies often reveal, as mentioned, the effects of pollution and worse - the consequences of lawmaker mismanagement, bribery, oil drilling, cut funding, and so much more.

Scientists and researchers are liable to produce proof that those in power have done wrong. No wonder the first move is to discredit them.

(I can't find it, but there was a post on here a bit back about how the One Ring turning its user invisible isn't a mistaken relay of Hobbit power but rather because the first thing evil in power desires is complete immunity to accountability.)

Anyways, Radagast is literally going to have the animals report to him which really hammers this one home.

Also, very interesting that before the Saruman summons, Gandalf tells Frodo to gather his resources and both he and Frodo admit that Frodo isn't the smartest or strongest, but Gandalf assures him that Frodo can do this thing nonetheless (the tales of the hobbits so frequently are about humble regular people accomplishing great things and I love it). Pretty much immediately moving in to see how Saruman, the brilliant and wise, has decided to change his colors and join Sauron, feels very pointed. Jirt is setting up a narrative here, a heroic journey, and has basically said "you know Frodo is going to accomplish great things, even against people even Gandalf considers powerful" and it's really interesting.

Also, just, the hobbits continue to be great. And I love that Gandalf's response to Frodo's announcement is, "yes, you must go; yes, you must do the difficult thing; and yes, it will be a hard road. But you don't need to do it alone."

I've heard that Tolkein denied that his experiences as a soldier affected/directed the narrative, and I know that evidence to the contrary is woven in nonetheless, so I can't say for sure how intentional everything is, but there are some exceeding good and relevant points in here and I've barely started.

It frustrates me to think about, because fantasy is an undervalued genre; that magic equates whimsy and whimsy equates pointlessness, that because it could never happen then it doesn't really matter. J.R.R. Tolkein is making some extremely good points about fascism and how to resist it, and some people will never accept that because fantasy - even incredibly popular and renowned fantasy - is for entertainment and nothing else.

Edit: oh yeah and I definitely paid attention to Gandalf and Frodo talking about Gollum. I've seen the Jackson movies (I know some stuff was changed or dropped) so I have an idea of how Gandalf's prediction is going to turn out. But I'm also paying attention to how Gandalf talks to Frodo about mercy. It's interesting.

[mogruith]

OC Deep Dive Tag

Thanks for tagging me @majorasnightmare!! This was a really awesome thinking exercise. It took me way longer than it should've to finish (work has been a lot lately) but I finally did it.

No pressure tags for @susann-noir @nemo-of-house-hamartia @mystxmomo @autisticdrizzt @twilight-sanctuary @albweado @moonshine-over-troubled-water any OC of your choice.

Phobias and Other Fears

Being alone. Or being far from his sister for extended periods. He's had his twin sister by his side his whole life and they've always looked out for each other. When she's not near him, it's as if he's lost a sense or a limb. He's managed this a few times but he absolutely hates it. Stagnation. Improve or perish. Climb that ladder, boy. For like actual phobias, I feel like I should mention his fear of Lolth but I think it's eclipsed by his anger. That said, spiders get the side-eye. But I'm not sure I'd call it a phobia.

Pet Peeves

Slow decision making and waffling. If you need to draw out a plan and take the time to do it, that's one thing. If you are indecisive, Coranzan is going get impatient and try to take over. Yes, he's kind of a dick. Additionally, talking down to him/being patronizing/dismissive.

3 items you could find in their bedroom

Coranzan keeps very little besides his armor, high-quality clothing, and a couple instruments - but those are boring things to list. There'd be items that allude to his vanity - an elaborate grooming kit, scented oils, and white dye that Z'ress uses to paint on Coran's forehead markings. Bonus: You'd also find a box of silver and moonstone knickknacks collected by his sister and donated to him. She tends to get sticky fingers and then gives some of the Eilistraee-adjacent items to him as something of an offering as a lay-worshipper. As they're seen as gifts from Eilistraee, he wears or keeps them until he can find a temple to offer them.

First thing they notice in a person

Probably a common answer but eyes are the window to the soul. Although he grew up avoiding eye contact, he has discovered the power in keeping his gaze locked on another's. Whether he's searching them to detect if they're enjoying a story he's telling or if they're lying, it's been beneficial skill.

On a scale of 1-10, how high is their pain tolerance?

I'd say something like a 7-8 or so. Pretty high pain tolerance but not absurdly so. I think it kind of came with the territory of some of his past work.

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure?

Fight for sure. Coranzan is fairly good at assessing the field and determining a path forward in a time-sensitive situation. It's not always the best or the safest path but it IS a well-reasoned path in a dire situation. The big picture/large scope planning belongs to his sister.

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

A big family? No, at least he's not aware of most of whoever might exist outside his immediate family. But connected to his immediate family? Absolutely. Besides being tied at the hip with his twin sister, Z'ress, he's also very close to his parents. His parents' faith were inspiration to his path of becoming a Cleric of Eilistraee. He also has a grandmother who has managed to survive long enough to still be in his life and an uncle on his father's side that they're close with.

What animal represents them best?

The only animal I've ever thought about is night-singing birds like blackbirds and nightingales: I feel like Coranzan liked hearing them at night when he first came to the surface and became really fond of them. Also, I feel like we've all envied a bird's ability to fly away from whatever situation they're in.

What is a smell that they dislike?

The smell of exhaust and lubricants from machines and mechanical constructs like the Steel Watch. Coran hadn't encountered very many of these kind of creatures before, but encountering so many in Baldur's Gate resulted in a strong dislike of the smell.

Have they broken any bones?

Coran is a pretty nimble person but also has a tendency to go pretty hard on whatever new skill he's obsessed with. So I'll say he's probably broken a bone or two in his time but he's pretty good at avoiding it usually.

How would a stranger likely describe them?

A stranger would likely get the aloof version of Coranzan. Unless he needed something of that stranger, then he'd turn on the charm. The aloof version of Coran would be quiet with constant studying looks, and intense eye contact. This would probably come off as intimidating to some, especially given he's obviously drow. The charming version of Coranzan would be all smiles and definitely trying to get you to forget that he's drow. He's all compliments, winks, and friendly taps to the shoulder/arm. A stranger's opinion will certainly vary based on what side they get but either way, he is a rather pretty face and that lets him get away with a lot among strangers (depending on their view of drow, ofc).

Are they a night owl or morning bird?

Night owl. Fuck the sun. Despite having been on the surface long enough to adjust, he is uncomfortable under it. Sadly, surfacers operate around the gods damned sun, so between that and Coran just generally not able to sit still for long, Coran doesn't get a lot of rest.

What is a flavour they hate and a flavour they love?

First of all, Coran is terrible at cooking and probably hates anything he's made in the field, to start. But broadly flavor-wise, Coranzan hates spicy/picante flavors (which hurts me deeply in my soul), and prefers earthy flavors. On the surface, he's come to appreciate the herbs and spices that can be added to those earthy flavors though.

Do they have any hobbies?

Song collecting (by ear), dancing (not just the Eilistraee-type stuff), reading different cultures fables, journaling/letter-writing, and some kind of skill-based strength training activity in rotation: think bodyweight progressions, gymnastics, rock-climbing.

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprises?

Surprises in general? Coranzan can roll with the punches and pivots easily, at least with regards to pleasant things. A BIRTHDAY party in particular would be really unexpected. By now, everyone's seen the lore bit about how drow men don't celebrate their birthdays. Coran's birthday was celebrated vicariously through his sister's birthday (given they're twins) and in private, they would celebrate together. But someone ELSE in on this? He'd probably have a very strong emotional reaction to it - primarily feeling really bashful about it to start but very quickly LOVING the attention lavished upon him suddenly.

Do they like to wear jewellery?

Yes - although most of my images of Coranzan do not show any jewelry (he removes everything when "on duty"), he likes to wear a lot of silver rings and piercings along his ears.

Do they have neat or messy handwriting?

Neat handwriting - Coran writes a lot and eventually writes some of his stories and songs in an ornate style for his collections. He then hands these off to his sister for border decorations. A series of these are kept in a folio he keeps around.

What are the two emotions they feel the most?

Pride and inadequacy occupy his mind in the quiet moments. For the most part, he feels he's pretty accomplished given how he started as a dirt-poor drow male in Menzoberranzan with no prospects. But then again, comparatively speaking, he hardly amounts to anything and has spent so much time attempting to accomplish the bare minimum (in his mind) - it sometimes feels like he's behind.

Do they have a favourite fabric?

First off, Coran would rather NOT be wearing a lot of clothes (or any at all if he can get away with it). But when he does, it has to be something lightweight and comfortable for him to tolerate it (you can imagine how much he hates wearing heavy armor). Mix that with the fact that he's a bit of a peacock when it comes to clothes, so he'd prefer fancy silks if he can get his hands on them. When he does, he takes meticulous care of it so it lasts.

What kind of accent do they have?

Coranzan was born in a pretty dirt-poor part of Menzoberranzan, so his baseline accent was Deep Drow. He's now spent somewhere around 130-ish years out of Menzoberranzan - split between the Undermountain and Waterdeep. So his Common is decent enough but a slight accent remains - he spends much of his time conversing with his family and other drow, so he can go a long time without speaking Common on the surface, depending where he is in his life. As a side-tangent: He can imitate the noble sound of High Drow to a limited extent and sometimes borrows the phrasing of that dialect to imply a noble sound in theatrical story-telling. Although he has a very good ear for the sound, he hasn't been around it enough to speak it enough to pass for a noble - the result of is a rugged take on a noble sound that can be endearing to some or hated by others. Shout out to @mystxmomo for their awesome discussion on Drow dialects to get my head straight on some of that (although I'm inserting some of my own minor stuff here).

[luckytohavebucky]

I have things to say about the new Thunderbolts* trailer...

So, um... yeah... mixed feelings, but I suppose I'll just get to it...

The problems:

To begin with, Bucky is a hero; make no mistake, however, there's implication that Bucky is not a hero when of course he really is, I mean... unless Bucky turns out to not technically be part of the "Thunderbolts" team, and that "not heroes" isn't meant to apply to Bucky, but prior to it says "not super" followed by Yelena saying something about nobody being able to fly, when last I checked that's not exactly a requisite: Steve, Peter, and Bruce clearly are all examples of those who have literal superpowers which never actually included flying, and of course Bucky fits into as well, along with a number of other individuals who are definitely on the previously stated team range ('though in whom's cases may or may not be considered heroes at this point as opposed to Bucky who like I said, is, always has been, and always will be a genuine hero); it was just a really weird thing to put (and probably out of context anyway) because it like straight up (no pun intended) doesn't make sense, then there's what seems like the inevitable treating Bucky like he was in any way responsible for what happened to him while under Hydra's control, just... Bucky seems to yet again be put into that place where it feels as though like everybody is assuming he somehow could've agreed to any of that, including Bucky, and I just wish someone could realise the truth of things/spend time with Bucky enough to convince him that could never be true, 'cause I've tried, but it's not working, meanwhile my heart is breaking into jagged shards of hopelessness; it would be unfathomably tremendous to me for there to be some sort of breakthrough, maybe even in the actual Thunderbolts* movie, where it's shown how Bucky finally properly at least considers the idea he shouldn't blame himself at all, but I'll see, I guess.

The relatively neutral stuff:

Pretty much anything not directly to do with Bucky and that isn't bad like a lot of other parts with Alexei were funny/endearing; that part where Taskmaster slides under something looked cool, and that scene at the end made me laugh a lot; that's probably about it.

The greatness:

1st of all, more Bucky, and not only more Bucky but more positive ranges with Bucky, which... That's all that matters anyway, seeing Bucky in a pretty good mood or even actually happy whereas previous Thunderbolts* trailers merely focused on the intense moments, but this is what I'd been waiting for, and I may have emoted/stimmed from pure joy as a result.

I'm not sure whether that "not giving up" is meant to apply to Bucky there, but it definitely fits him; Bucky's quote, 'though ironically/typically misguided on Bucky's part, implies as much, still I don't really know where it falls into exactly, so I'm putting it here, but related to I'm also glad Bucky is shown again after that scene where he gets his arm pulled off and like shoved to the ground since Bucky must come through that; otherwise it would've been messed up on a level I can't comprehend, and yeah, that's my take on the latest (and longest yet) trailer for Thunderbolts*, which... Obviously there's still work to be done in terms of Bucky being properly accounted for, but so far as the preview range in of itself, I thought it was rather disjointed in terms of quality and logic, but it got there to a degree in any case, and I'm still pissed Bucky isn't the main character technically, just saying.

[lampylampdevil]

I do not know if the anon above is irritated or just marvelling at the way Bluesky blocklists tend to shake out, but I'm gonna take this as an opportunity to say something I've wanted to say somewhere: If you're on Bluesky and say ANYTHING, someone WILL put you on a stupid-sounding blocklist at some point, and it really does not matter.

I'm a VTuber and I mostly post about my streams, and I repost art and the occasional left-aligned political post. As a result of this I am on some people's blocklists! To give some examples:

Several for "Streamers and VTubers are annoying, so I'm blocking them"

One that's "bigots and racists and also weird anime people, anime is very suspicious, pedos like that, don't you know"

Several for "proshippers" (I made a post telling people they shouldn't follow if they're weird and harass-y about what people ship)

One that's "these people were MEAN and also they BLOCKED ME so I bet they SUCK"

One called "Obnoxious, tedious, insufferable leftists", I presume because I liked the posts of someone this person is big mad about

Every single one of these lists is made by total nobodies with no major reach our clout. It really does not matter if I'm on someone's "shitty people who are bad" list when that someone has a dozen followers and posts like they're on Facebook. It has had absolutely no effect on my ability to have a nice time on Bluesky, and I get plenty of responses to my posts from people that want to see them and seem to enjoy picking up what I'm putting down.

I have had friends that have found themselves on lists of "pedo-MAGA-racist-badguys" (but when you inspect the list it's literally full of trans people, and only that, and it's very plainly been put together to be shitty) and have panicked and gotten stressed out about it because oh no, what if people see that they're on a slanderous list and all their friends block them, or what if someone calls their employer?! My two responses to that are, if it's slanderous you can report the list and it'll get taken down.... and honestly, I think once people get used to the way Bluesky's systems work, no one's going to go to Clearsky, put people's names in, see they're on a shitty blocklist and go "Oh no! This queer fanartist that I follow is ACTUALLY a BIGOT, I need to TELL EVERYONE". They're going to go "Huh, wow, they sure pissed someone off, okay" and get on with things, or they're going to get told by other Bluesky users to calm the fuck down if they DO go and get weird about it.

That aside, some of those blocks that I've gotten are legit from people that do not want to see what I'm doing, and that is fine. That is perfectly fine. I am not entitled to the entire world's eyeballs, and randos blocking me because they're not down with my weeb-ass shit has had no impact upon me. The only way I can even be aware of this is by going to Clearsky and.... like... maybe just don't use Clearsky if you're prone to feeling bad about this sort of thing? I know a lot of us have anxiety around people liking us, and don't like rejection, and it can feel bad to find out that you're blocked by someone... but if you're going to use any social media platform to socialize with others, you will eventually annoy someone and eat a block. The faster you learn to let that kind of interpersonal thing go, the happier you will be.

The real takeaway from this, however, is something I have heard from the very beginning of my time on Bluesky: Do NOT use a blocklist that you do not absolutely, positively, entirely trust to remain reliable. A blocklist is only ever as good as the person maintaining it, and it is vulnerable to people sneaking their personal enemies and annoyances onto it. Review what you've subscribed to on a regular basis. They are not a magical cure-all for shitty social media experiences, they are a tool that you can use to filter things. Use your tools wisely, to prevent getting hurt.

Blueskys blocklists are wild. For my maim im on ones listed for weirdos , proshippers, Furries & zoophiles (people who are furries being lulped in with zoophiles), democrats, luddites and an anti porn one that lumps me with crypto bros, Fascists, Donald trump & Elon musk because nsfw is just as bad as those other ones....

I didnt say shit, I just follow artists, share their stuff and my art which my art is always sfw. I am minding my owm business!

Oh but my second account is on 0 lists despite me being very loud about drawing nsfw, being pro kink, proship, sharing much more nsfw etc on that one.

--

[vaguely-concerned]

nothing makes me feel like a golden god quite like a new recipe turning out delicious on the first try. unfortunately, conversely nothing makes me feel more 'I am god's mistake' than spending all that time and effort on something and having to make a sandwhich b/c the results were inedible if you want to retain your capacity for delight. the duality of home chef

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

i'm pretty sure i've cut all content consumption out of my routine now

i don't mean that in the sense of i no longer consume content, i mean i've managed to remove it from routine behaviour

yes i will scroll instagram but it's not the first thing i do on waking until i get through all the posts since yesterday. it's just something i choose to do when i feel like it

yes i will watch youtube but i no longer go through all videos since yesterday from all the channels i'm subscribed to and watch them all or add it to watch later if i can't squeeze it into the day. this was my most recent success so i'm avoiding my subscriptions tab so i don't fall into the hole and am instead looking up individual channel videos to watch for no more than an hour. when i'm convinced my brain will behave i believe i will be able to scroll subscriptions casually and only when i want to.

this used to cause me such trouble because i genuinely saw these things as part of my routine so i'd be over here like man my routine of consuming content is all messed up because i went out for the day with someone i will need to double it tomorrow to fix it so i'm back on track. or i'd be like kinda wanted to do this today but a youtuber i follow uploaded a 2 hour video so I won't be able to fit it in :/

anyway that was trash. now i think i just have routines around food (3 meals a day) and work/study. Everything else is clean and free. I can do whatever I feel like when i have free time. i feel a little lost now but at least i'm no longer spending hours on content consumption when it's not actually making me happy

[here-there-were-dragons]

i have to wonder what super hardcore militant vegans think should be done about obligate carnivore animals, because in all my painfully-rapidly-approaching-30-years i've literally never actually seen anyone give a clear consistent much less halfway feasible answer on that

[peridots-pixiwolf]

[Start ID. Two drawings of Hollow Knight OCs in the City of Tears. The first depicts Solper and Caramel, an owlfly and carpenter bee respectively, just before they duel in midair, from a vantage point behind Caramel's shoulder. They're a fair distance from the ground, which is composed of a scattering of large cobblestone islands, partially submerged by a dark sea. They both seem rather enthused, fighting for fun—Caramel has her mantis claw held out to the side and other fist raised, while Solper's sabre is poised beside his head, his other limbs akimbo. The entire drawing and particularly the background are indigo-toned, drenched and shining under perpetual rain.

The second shows Molini, Hawksbeard and Dandy, a millipede, grasshopper and a moth. Molini contentedly sits as the other two use her as a bench, circled around a fire as they've just finished boiling tea, the kettle is propped up on Dandy's nail and settled between two poles taken from Solper and Caramel's battleground. The background is dark enough to appear fully blank, though a handful of lumaflies and the light of a hidden central fire shine upon the three bugs. Hawksbeard is chatting, the others listen, all three holding cups from which pale steam rises in clouds. While the firelight is particularly bright, the tone of the drawing is warm, in both color and feeling. End ID]

March 30 was the first time I'd interacted with @hollypies (feat. their Dandy), and April 5th my earliest memory of @original-character-chaos (feat. his Solper). So I offer a two-weeks-late first-anniversary drawing to my mutuals :]

[elytrafemme]

do you ever meet someone who you understand only exists in your life in a very temporary manner because of the nature of your relations but you feel so much strong emotion about them that you know they will be written into the fabric of your life forever? anyway i had the same phlebotomist as last time and have empirically determined that she is one of God's angels and i would just about do anything for her

[uwooyoungs]

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